One Month Anniversary: Funemployment

Today marks exactly one month since coming home from my summer internship in New York. This means it’s been one month of uncertainty. One month of waking up in my childhood bed. One month of seeing hometown friends. One month of spending everyday with my mom and siblings. And of course it’s been one month of sending in job applications–even though I told myself I was going to take a little break from that. As you can imagine, that break from the job search never did quite happen.

This was definitely a result of that feeling of uncertainty I mentioned. I am positive that I am not alone when I say how uncomfortable uncertainty makes me. Not just with careers, but with anything in life. All summer while I was earning a wonderful experience in public relations, I kept reminding myself that I would try and relax when I got home. I needed a break. I needed time to breathe after the past year–the past few years.

Yet when I arrived home, Monday morning rolled around and I couldn’t help but open up my LinkedIn profile and “just peek” at what opportunities are out there. By the end of that Monday, I had already sent in multiple job applications.

Everyday since being home I have found myself scrolling endlessly through job boards, LinkedIn and Indeed. I’ve had plenty of Netflix binges in between these applications; however, for some reason I couldn’t even take just two weeks off after ending my internship.

I constantly go back and forth on my anxieties about the future–one moment I’m anxious that I won’t find a job soon enough, and then on the other hand I’m anxious that I am not enjoying this time off as much as I had planned to.

And why?

Because I’m so uncertain about my future.

I’ve unfairly blamed this on the fact that everyone wants to ask me what my next steps are. Answering this question makes me so nervous. I don’t have any next steps. Sure I’m sending out applications and preparing for interviews, but this is the first time in years I don’t exactly know what I’ll be doing even a month from now. I don’t have a fall semester to begin or an internship lined up.

I’m so eager to enter my career, and because of this I’ve forgotten that there is nothing wrong with taking a month or two off. After all, this is it. My next role starts the “once you work you never stop” stage of my life.

I don’t know if I’ve appreciated this month as much as I should have because I didn’t feel comfortable with uncertainty–not when everyone around me seems to know what their next steps are.

I wish I could be more comfortable with living day to day, and not worrying about finding the perfect job. My life has been career-focused for so long, that I honestly couldn’t shut that part of my brain off, even for a couple weeks.

I think this is okay though. I have loved every second of being home with my mom back in my hometown. And I have relaxed as much as my busy brain has allowed me.

I’m not sure how much time I have left at home before I make the move to my next job, so I’m going to try to take advantage of that. Even if it’s just a couple weeks. It’s okay to breathe. It’s okay to be uncertain about what’s next because I don’t necessarily have to follow the same path as the person beside me.

I’m going to continue being proactive about my career because I want to be able to carve out a life that I am happy with; however, I’m also going to make sure I take time out of each day to focus on the present.

Specifically, these days of waking up on cool summer mornings and having coffee in my childhood home.

-Rachel

 

 

 

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Communicating Happiness: So Sorry for the Delayed Response!

~sorry I’m late, but…~

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I write when I’m happy. I write when I’m sad, and also when I’m stressed. The point is that I write when I feel. This is why it is a little disheartening that it’s been almost a month since my last post–especially for someone who thrives on communicating. It’s not upsetting because I feel the need to document every part of my life via the internet–even though my social accounts may lead you to believe otherwise. However, it is disheartening because I think I may have forgotten how writing is a form of healing.

I feel better when I write.

For my loyal readers (hey mom), you know that I left off my posts with a happiness challenge–one that I had planned to document on a weekly basis. Well, those friends who know me, are well aware that the likelihood I’d actually follow a structured series calendar was slim.

Alas, I’m here to resume the challenge–on day 67 to be exact–because I’ve realized the challenge holds me accountable to look for the positives as I encounter the ups and downs of life.

The past few weeks have left little time to rest–hence the blogging delay.

With a college graduation behind me, I headed for a short vacation to Florida then flew back to New York with less than 24 hours to spare before beginning my first post-grad chapter–an internship in the city.

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As an elementary school student, I wanted to live in New York City. For some reason, I just couldn’t wait to experience life beyond the small town I grew up in. This is obviously what led to my first college decision of attending BU and gaining a bit of the city life in Boston. I fell in love with that city, and although I returned to a smaller school environment at Ithaca–I never lost that feeling of wanting to explore and give a new city a shot, even if I do love my small hometown.

So I thought to myself, hey let’s try for the big one–the big internship in the big company in the big apple (sorry, couldn’t help myself).

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Which is where I am now.

Part of me wanted to hate working in New York because well, you know my track record with making decisions. If I love multiple places, how am I going to ever figure out where I’m going to live?

As you can guess, I currently adore working in New York. Although I could handle an easier commute than my grandma’s home on Long Island–I love the summer I am living so far. I love the anonymity of walking down the streets. I love that I have to learn my way around and make plenty of wrong turns. I love that everyone is so different. I love the city culture–the one that brings together so many different cultures. And of course, I love the knowledge I am receiving at my internship. I’m learning the craft of PR from the best in the business and trying absorb as much as I can with the short six weeks I have remaining.

My first couple weeks in this new little chapter have been exciting, terrifying, humbling, and fun. I’m able to meet new people, see college friends, spend time with family, and of course enjoy dinner with my grandma every single weeknight. Even though it’s not ideal to spend time away from my immediate family, I know that I’m throwing myself into this summer, and trying not to hold back from opportunities because of any apprehension.

New York City may be my next home. Boston may be my next home. Rochester may continue to be my home. Who knows what the fall season will bring; however, for now I’m going to push myself to learn exactly where I will want to live next. I’m going to say yes to things I’m worried I may fail at, agree to go out on adventures with friends when I know the “safe” choice would be to stay home, and most importantly, I’m not going to let any mistakes or insecurities hinder the chance at fulfilling my dreams and goals–both professionally and personally.

That little girl had dreams to be working in New York City. And here I am today. My dreams are going to continue evolving, so all I have to do is follow them–whatever city they may take me to next.

-Rachel

P.S. shout out to Deanna for reminding me I couldn’t let today pass without getting back into blogging.

“Work Where Your Passion Is”

I know what you’re thinking — long time no blog, huh? My last post dated back to May 13th. For someone who used to love writing constantly, it is sad to see that I didn’t find time this summer to do so. Between work, family, and personal times, it just did not cross my mind to put my thoughts down into words.

What did I do this summer that kept me so busy? I had a rewarding internship working on the corporate communications team for a company that only reaffirmed my career goals. It made me positive that I can find a solid job in the communications field, I can work extremely hard doing what I love, and yet still enjoy life outside of work as well.

I cannot begin to explain everything I learned the past few months, but I can focus on a couple things.

Work where your passion is.”

This summer, I followed my passion. Those that follow me on social media know I worked for Constellation Brands Inc., a company that produces, sells and markets alcohol. Is my passion alcohol? Not by any means.

My passion is communicating. My passion is people. My passion is laughing. And my passion is learning.

My summer involved all of this, and that is why I am not worried about my life come graduation (now a short nine months away). I know that my future will be rewarding because I do not intend to settle for a job, a life, or a career I am not passionate about.

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“Working.”

Throughout the internship, as I began building relationships with several people, there were moments when I did not necessarily feel confident in who I am. What I’ve come to realize though, is that my personality is what contributes to the work I produce. I am a communicator who creates projects. Along with this personality, I am sometimes too loud, I am sometimes too clumsy, and I sometimes go on tangents. However, as long as who I am allows me to continue to work passionately and remain professional—then there is nothing to worry about, and no reason to second guess myself.

Truth be told, I’m learning who I am. I am building the confidence to make it through life without losing my self-assurance. It is so easy to focus on your own misfortunes or insecurities when in reality life is whole lot happier after you accept each piece of your personality, your body, and your intelligence for what it is, and make the most of the life you’ve been blessed to live.

The past few months have not been an easy time in my personal life; however, working at my internship has been such a bright light in those rougher times. I met amazing people, laughed a lot, built new relationships, and of course worked harder than ever to create and design several communications projects. If I did not enjoy coming into work each day, then I’m not sure how I would’ve handled this summer. I learned that if you love what you do, it can become a creative outlet to focus your attention on producing high-quality work, rather than focusing on things in life you just cannot control.

I encourage everyone to find a job, a hobby, exercise, or an activity that allows you to do the same. It really makes all the difference. I know moving forward in my final year of college, I’m going to remember to find those creative outlets that allow me to decompress and to relax in between all the serious moments life sends my way.

-Rachel

“I Don’t Know What I Want to Do with My Life”

I don’t know what I want to do with my life.”

“Rachel, you’re 20.”

It’s the phrases people my age throw around left and right.

What am I going to do with my life?

What job will I have?

Where do I want to live?

We have such anxiety about not being prepared for our futures. However, what we are doing right now is preparing us for our futures. The classes. The majors. The internships. The summer jobs. We’re doing everything right to better ourselves for what’s next after we graduate. Yet, why do we still feel unprepared?

Well to be honest, I think it’s because that’s life. Life is uncertain. Life changes. We don’t know our futures, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we have anything to worry about. Not knowing isn’t a bad thing. Not caring may be bad, but not knowing? That’s normal.

The whole “I don’t know what I want to do with my life” dilemma is exactly why we have to be so open and willing to try everything and take every opportunity. To make the big decisions, the small decisions. To make a change if we aren’t positive or happy about the way something is going (cue the mid-college transfer).

After all, how else will we really know what we want to do with our lives if we don’t know every option out there. We need to know what we can not should do with our lives–which truth be told is just about anything (I mean, that is what our parents and teachers have been telling us since kindergarten, right?).

I may not know what I want to do with my life, but as I was reminded, I’m only twenty years old. I’m still in college and that’s what this time is for—that’s what the next 10, 20 years are for; to find out what it is that I do want to do for the rest of my life. Right now I’m trying out sports communication in my internship, but during the next few years I plan on getting a taste of multiple industries before I become a post-grad adult and begin my career in any of the possible industries.

If the next decade is anything like the last two or three years, I think it’s safe to say the one thing I want to do for the rest of my life is going to change once, twice, 10 times if we’re being realistic.

I guess for now I’m just going to enjoy not knowing what I’ll do with my life. I’ll enjoy working different jobs, internships, taking a variety of classes and hopefully one day be able to answer the dreaded, “ so what do you want to do with that major?”

We’ll have to see…

-Rachel